Now that I had the acronym for C L E O P A T R A in place, I had to start the research. I was honestly so excited to start the process of learning and actually using my brain. I’m a mathematician and anyone who knows me, knows I love detail. I love analysing, researching and studying, it must be the inner geek in me!
Every spare moment I got I was reading or listening to audiobooks and podcasts. I studied EFT and NLP anything I thought would benefit the course but mainly because I really did have an imposter syndrome.
“Who am I to teach women on empowerment when I’m walking around feeling disempowered most of the time.” is a thought that sadly often crossed my mind.
I convinced myself ‘knowledge is key, so the more I learn the more empowered I’d feel…. right?’
But the Universe had a different plan for me. You see I soon found out there’s a big difference from understanding or intellectualising a subject than actually knowing it. It had become a joke, it felt like anything I included in the presentation I really was tested on it.
For example, in the ‘Self -Love’ section, I wrote about the importance of meditating, drinking water, sleeping well, eating well, exercising, looking after your skin etc… all the usual things ‘self-love’ entails but at the time I really wasn’t doing any of it!
Over the past 3 years the Universe (cleverly) has thrown so many adversities in front of me that I’ve had no choice but to practice Self Love.
I suffered from 6 months of torturous insomnia, 3 months of the worst stomach cramps, hair loss and bad skin; all the things that prior to writing the course I had never experienced. In hindsight I now know it was to firstly get me to love my physical body at a cellular level (not just as a vanity project) and secondly for me to ‘walk the talk’ and actually practice what I preached.
I now meditate every day, religiously drink 2 litres of water daily, have an amazing well-balanced diet, a tried and tested sleep program and I nurture my skin and hair with such care, not because I want to be smug but because I know first-hand how important all these things are to my well-being and sanity.
But it wasn’t just ‘Self Love’ I was tested on… I was tested on every section I wrote about… and the biggest test for me was right at the core – CONFIDENCE!