What is confidence? Confidence comes from believing in your abilities and believing in your ability to get what you want. If you are a ‘confident’ swimmer for example, it’s because you know and trust that if you want to swim to a certain point or a certain distance, you’ll succeed.
This is because of past references, you can go back to a similar event that’s happened in the past (eg swimming a certain distance), and if you’ve succeeded, you know you’ll be able to do it again. Unfortunately, we are not all great at everything or confident in every area of our lives.
But the truth is we were all born confident and with the belief that if we want something we will get it. Babies are born believing in themselves. The cry until they get fed, because they believe if they cry louder sooner or later, they will get fed or their nappy will be changed.
I’ve just spent the weekend with my two-year-old niece, and if you say “no” to her she’ll look at you baffled as to why the hell you or anyone would refuse her demands. She believes she deserves that chocolate or toy she wants, or if she doesn’t want to do something boy does she let everyone know, it’s a ‘no’! So as babies we all believe we can get what we want!
What happens though, is life gets in the way. Parents, teachers, siblings soon let us know, we can’t always get what we want, or that perhaps we are not as good at something as we believed we might be. This is when confidence levels change for the worse. Of course, in most cases our parents and guardians are looking out for our best interests, but sometimes, life can be cruel.
All our core programming happens between 0 – 8 years old. If something happened to you as a child and you felt humiliated, maybe in the classroom, or on the playground you pronounced something wrong for example, or you came last in a race or a test, and everyone laughed at you, your core confidence would get knocked and that gets stored as a memory, chances are you’ll carry that wound with you, no matter how big or small into your adult life.
My job on the Cleopatra Effect, is to help you go back to the core of you, where you believed you deserved you to get everything you wanted, and to then give you the formula on how to get that confidence back, especially in the area of your life, where you are struggling.